Because we all love reading things that make us cringe and be grateful it wasn't us. Welcome to my life.

Posts Tagged: roommates

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College has redefined everything I thought about hygiene. 

At first, I thought sharing a bathroom with five other girls was going to be a nightmare due to how many generations of may flies that could experience the circle of life while a girl gets ready. I know first hand. I’m guilty of even my speediest showers being at least 20 minutes. Going from my house where I had to fight only my mother for the shower, dorm living seemed like cruel and unusual punishment. However, much to my surprise, the only issues we’ve ran into time wise is the elegant “I’m about to pee my pants, HURRY YOUR ASS” dance performed while someone had the shower occupied.

If I had to choose between being in a room with Freddy Kruger and being in a room with our toilet, I would actually have to pause and give great consideration to both possibilities. On a usual given day, our toilet would appear to be made of speckled marble. It’s not. I’ll let you pause to gag now. I have no clue how our toilet gets so ridiculously gross, especially in places where you wouldn’t normally have to worry about getting dirty. Have you ever seen the back part of the toilet that sits on the floor have debris on it? Me either, until this year. I’m still flabbergasted as to how that happened—twice. Most guys’ toilets would put ours to shame. Heck, most port-o-potties would put ours to shame.

It’s pretty shocking how much hair six girls can leave in a bathroom.  I’ve been the brave soul who decided to take one for the team and try to tame what we dubbed, “The Hair Monster”. Initially, this endeavor would be made easily known by the loud heaving noises. After living in a dorm for two months now, I have a complete tolerance for hair. This unsettling discovery was made when I was eating dinner with my mother (the infamous dinner of CHAMPIONS) and I found a small hair in my burger. My mother freaked. She was about ready to take my burger to the counter and demand a fresh, untainted one. I merely shrugged, plucked out the hair nonchalantly, and resumed eating. What has college done to me?! On the plus side, I can clean hair out of drain without even batting an eye. 

Why does it get so bad? My roommates and I, granted, are not anal neat freaks. Sure, Marissa has her occasional cleaning spree when she makes our room shine brighter than Snow White ever could, but we still generally keep above liveable conditions. When we make messes, we clean them. Simple as that. Our suitemates, however, don’t always follow the same code and apparently, they have a much greater tolerance for filth than we do.

Our suitemates rarely take it upon themselves to clean the bathroom. Usually Marissa does it because otherwise it’ll reach a point that will send her into a germaphobic panic just by stepping foot near it. Madison and I will contribute to the cleaning effort as well, but effectively it’s just our room that cleans it. After noticing this, we decided to have an experiment. Since it’s always us that takes out that nearly overflowing trash, we wanted to see how bad the trash could get before our suitemates would take the trash out. Our results were appalling. The trash had piled a good half a foot above the can when we took it out.

So how do you talk to your suitemates about the messes they leave in the bathroom? Well, probably the best way would be face to face. However, our communication with our suitemates is just about is good as their cleaning habits. So for now, we’ll stick to post-it notes with smiley faces. Smiley faces make everything less offensive.

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That awkward moment when you and your roommate are getting hit on by a guy and she thinks he’s a complete creeper but you think he’s good looking and funny.

So it’s apparent that Madison and I have completely different tastes in guys. Rarely do we ever agree on whether or not a guy is attractive, let alone his attractiveness level. She has a thing for Asian guys, I like guys with beards. Given this, there’s no surprise that we had two totally different takes on our dinner one night.

We had planned on just picking up some food from the SUB and taking it back to our dorm. On our way out, I saw a guy that lives in our dorm sitting at a table with another guy and politely nodded at him. He waved and said hello. His charismatic friend attempted to start conversation with us from 15 feet away, then asked us to join them for dinner. I thought, why not? It could be more exciting than just eating dinner and watching Sex and the City.

This guy you could tell already is quite full of himself. He’s got Prince of Persia hair, so I’ll give him that right. He was very social, engaging us in conversation before we even sat down. He asked us about our majors, talked about his. He had a tremendous amount of energy, which I’m guessing is from the ego boost of having two girls come and join him for dinner. With this ego boost comes flirting—lots and lots of cringe worthy flirty.

His flirting was unbelievably blunt and cheesy. Pretty much every other sentence there was some quick line inserted. At first, I just smiled and thought, Hahaha, oh my goodness, you did not just say that. It was ridiculously entertaining. There was even an attempt at Madison along the lines of, “Oh yeah, you with the pretty hair, the gold nails, and the cute earrings?” Seriously, I couldn’t keep a straight face at this point. It doesn’t help that he made direct eye contact with us the entire time. It was all I could do the entire conversation to not burst out laughing, but this was too much. Between his lines and the look of pure horror and oh my god, please make this stop on Madison’s face, I lost it. Even as we were leaving the SUB, he fished for compliments on his looks and his hair.

I mean, I’ve got to give this guy credit. He’s got two girls with their attention on him and he just goes for it fearlessly like he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to the world. Even when we laugh and it has to be painfully obvious how bad the flirting is, he keeps the lines coming. I rather admire that. Most people, myself included are too concerned with what will happen if we let our guards down and actually go for what and who we want. Granted, Madison fails to see his admirability. He is very much still a creeper in her eyes and after finding out later that he was trying to play a make-shift game of footsies with her, I respect her opinion. I’m not 100% convinced he’s a creeper, but I understand her general discomfort. Lesson of the night: say yes to life. It might not lead to dramatic changes instantly, but you might get a good chuckle over a pb & j. 

Am I going to fall head over heels for this guy and dream about our future together? Oh no. That’s absurd. Am I going to have a good laugh for at least a week about how shameless his flirting was and how Madison could barely keep a straight face? You betcha.